politics postscript

Here, courtesy of a few of my other inner voices, is the unabashed, heart-defense of a not-really-activist who, however futile, can't seem to let go of the idea entirely.

It's been 8 years of what, at the global level, was in most ways a tragedy. And what, at the personal level, I think can be compared to a long-term dysfunctional relationship. Hear me out here, if you will. Maybe others who have lived any of the struggles I described in last night's other post - with a parent, with a partner, with a close friend - can relate. It's not just the larger-than-life drama and chagrin of fights in public places, beloved voices sharpened into weapons, words beaten into swords. It's not just the feelings of alienation, depression, disappointment that set in. It's all the little things, the really not-okay things, that you come, over time, to take for granted. Not being listened to. Being asked to sacrifice wants, and then needs, and then security. Losing the confidence that the word spoken is the word you can believe. Accepting the insensitivity, not only to your own soul's asking, but by outward extension to the people and the things that you love. Any of this sound familiar? At the heart or soul level, haven't we been hanging on in a dysfunctional relationship with our government, for the last several years? Sure, there are a few people who walked out on it (and that's their right to choose). And a lot more who learned to just shut their mouths, power down their hearts, and sit tight. But for us who can't seem to not give our hearts to relating - at all the levels in which it manifests - it was a soul-depleting struggle, and yes maybe a ridiculous and futile one, to stay and "try to make it work".

So. In the last couple months, and the last week, it seems obvious that we would experience what you could only call a "honeymoon phase", with President Obama's election. I was feeling silly for thinking of it this way, and then I heard an NPR commentator compare inauguration day festivities to a wedding for the people, with Obama as the bride. See. And, like all honeymoons, this one will surely end, in at least some respects. He won't be willing, or able, to make every one of us happy. This president, and this round of government, will let us down. Will embarrass us in public. Will deny us some of our basic needs. Will in fact, turn out to be human too. But for the moment - again, at the heart-level - it is just sweet news to believe that it's okay to feel again. To think that somebody's listening. To be safe enough at least to turn some energies from the center outward, direct them toward what we desire, instead of against what we need defend ourselves from.

Yes, this is a phase. But some of us really needed this phase. I'm not staking all my hopes on what my national or state or even local government can do with the next few years. I don't need to base my faith (in world, in people, in systems) on political ideologies or political actions. Whatever my religion is, it's not activism. But it is so sweet to stretch those cramped muscles of body and heart for just a moment, look around, and speak my soul in a larger world context again. And to affirm something.